Anger Management
  

     
     
I argue back
(Note, the writer of this question is based in the USA).
 

Question:
"I work for a very large handyman's do-it-yourself warehouse. I am a store associate and currently work in the woodworking/power tool department. I am 57 years old and have two degrees - one in management and one in retailing science and have 35 + years in industry and retailing.
  
I am a type A personality/workaholic although this job has very little overtime, I still give my employer much more effort than most of my coworkers in department.
  
Now I will do a lot to help a customer, but some of the people who come in are new arrivals to the USA and have very limited if any english vocabulary. They get upset when you can't understand what they are trying to ask you. Sometimes they take their limited english and use it to verbally abuse me. Other times it will be a customer who will ask you for an opinion on how to do something and then proceed to argue with you about the recommendation that was given.
  
I tend to be thin skinned when people take what I consider personal verbal shots at me and my blood starts to boil and I usually lash out with something like "why did you ask me if you didn't want my answer" or "why are you arguing with me about my opinion".
  
As you can imagine, when I lash out at a customer, I usually end up being in trouble with store management and my customer service skills are questioned."

   
Answer:

OK, let's start with some 'Tough Love' ... "Get over yourself!!!" - You know what you are doing, you are trying to allow your experience and your knowledge to justify you
being bossy!!!.
  
Let's look at what you said, "I am 57 years old and have two degrees" and "have 35 + years in industry and retailing" - you see you KNOW STUFF - You probably give people the correct advice. BUT - sometimes people don't want the correct advice. Look at all the people who smoke, they KNOW that smoking is bad for them, but they still smoke. Now if you were an oncologist (Cancer Doctor) you might very well say to a friend who asked you "Should I give up smoking?", "Yes, give it up at once!" - Would that person take your advice... Maybe, but maybe not!!!
  
OK, so firstly, relax and realise that even if you give the correct advice, some people don't want it. What can you do? Nothing - The USA is NOT a police state and you ain't president yet :) :) :) So, R E L A X, take a deep breath and smile - you did your best, it's up to the customer to decide whether to take your advice or not.
  
Next, consider if you get asked any specific questions regularly? If you do then why not write your answer out as a 'Fix-it Sheet' and when you get asked that question, just give them the 'Fix-it Sheet' (Obviously check with management that this is OK and put on it a legal disclaimer - you don't want to be sued if someone wires up their electrics to their plumbing!!!). The reason for writing the answers down, is that it will be quicker to deal with questions and a written answer carries more authority than a verbal one (Don't ask me why, but it does...).
   
Regarding people taking personal verbal shots at you, they are out of line and you should simply say, "Look I want to help you but if you insult me then I am going to stop speaking to you. However if you speak to me politely then I will be delighted to try and help you sort this matter out."

 
     
   
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