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Question:
"My
son is back living with us, he has split up from his older girlfriend.
He is on drugs, unfortunately crack, although not so much recently,
he started a new job yesterday, how long he'll keep it is another
matter!
He has so much anger in him at everyone and everything, last
week I had another huge row with him, it really was bad. I don't
think I'm helping him because
I don't know how to handle him in a temper I suppose, what can I do to cope
with his mood swings?"
Answer:
I'm making an assumption
that you feel physically safe. I'm also making an assumption that he is able
to pay for drugs without stealing or engaging in any behaviours that are illegal.
If that is the case you have - perhaps - some time to get things right - if
that is not the case then urgent action on your behalf is absolutely necessary.
Seek professional help for both you and him - counseling or whatever seems
appropriate. There are some issues that are best dealt with inside of the family
but drug dependency is NOT one of them. You need to try and persuade him to
join you in a multi-pronged approach. Get help for the drug dependency. More
importantly get help with examining and dealing with his anger and any underlying
issues that may be causing that anger.
Another short answer - easy to say rather than to do - try to be supportive
and non-judgmental.
You need to be a friend AND a parent - It's an almost impossible juggling act
- you need to know when to be forceful and know when to be laid back about
his issues.
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